Right now I feel that the biggest lesson I’ve learned since being here is to: Be YOURSELF. I’m here travelling with a big group of people and within that group there are so many different personalities and attitudes and perspectives. It’s sooo easy to become caught up in the hype and follow the crowd. But I’ve always been a leader. I’d like to think it comes from me being an only child and being able to venture off on my own and handle things on my own. But more importantly, how to be an INDIVIDUAL.
Believe me we’ve had our fair share of drama within the group with personalities colliding and what not. I’ve definitely seen the leaders take an active role, take charge, lead the group, and direct them in the way that is pleasing to them. And I’ve seen the followers – following behind the leaders, not speaking out, agreeing to go along with the group. But me? I make my own path. If there’s something the group is doing that I don’t want to partake in, I go do what I want to do. More importantly I feel like I shouldn’t have to be judged for doing whatever it is that I want to do. I’m all about a person choosing to do whatever it is that makes them happy. But here I feel like if you’re not rolling with the group you’re talked about, cast out, or looked down upon.
If anything this feeling has made me want to be even more individualistic. I play my own horn and I definitely don’t need anyone to tell me what I need to do or direct me. If there’s something I want, I make it happen on my own. I never want to feel like I have to fit in or depend on other people to make things happen for me. I have no problem rolling solo or rolling duo with Morg =)
Another thing I’ve learned related to this topic is that you don’t have to make friends with anyone. Granted I enjoy meeting new people and whatnot, but I’m not here for these people and from what I’ve learned neither are these people here for me either. It’s a man eat man world out there and you’ve got to know how to survive. I’m not going to waste my time forcing friendships with people I know that it’s not going to work out. There’s no time to be phony and fake. As Morg would say if you’re not “vibing” with someone you might as well let it go. It’s not going to happen!
The last important note I’d like to mention is standing up for what you believe in. If there’s something you don’t agree with or dislike, SAY IT! Holding your tongue only makes the feeling/situation ten times worse.
I know on this trip things have been said, behind my back more than likely, and even to my face. Jealously is rampant here. I feel like I’m judged when I eat (what I eat – especially if it’s McDonalds), what I buy (whenever I go shopping it’s like World War III), and even my major (which apparently is the “easy” way out at Wake) These things among many I have allowed to upset me and anger me, but I have done something about it – I have spoken out and let people know that they can’t just say anything and think they can get away with it. These people are used to dealing with weak individuals and I’m definitely not one. And I know there are even times when I think people don’t think before they speak, but when you speak out you can then show them that they are wrong/inappropriate for saying whatever they did.
At the end of the day, I realize you only have yourself, your family, and your true friends. It’s always, of the utmost importance to “be yourself”..
